Until my early adult years, I wasn’t aware that the trauma I had experienced was affecting my relationships. Even when I’d finally owned the experiences, I continued to live in denial for quite some time. I was just “tough,” I thought. I had thick skin and walled-off emotions because that was who I was. The fact that I couldn’t recognize my own self-worth and struggled with committing to close relationships seemed to be the way things were. I was, of course, wrong.
Trauma isn’t just the experience but also the response of others to that experience. The impact that causes the most sustainable damage, in fact, is the lack of response from an authority figure. Recovery is most attainable if an authority figure both acknowledges and validates your experiences. But when that authority figure is absent, what are you supposed to do?
That’s where reparenting comes in. The concept of reparenting is giving yourself the support, love, and attention you didn’t receive as a child. For me, the only way to move beyond my trauma was to seek the authority figure that had been missing before. It just so happens that that authority figure was me. Now, when I am triggered, I use tools to provide love, support, and boundaries for my inner child so she receives the message of comfort and safety she needs.
The same can be possible for you. If you’ve lived through trauma and are struggling with commitment, both with yourself and with others, consider my upcoming “Reparenting and Recovery” workshop! We will address semantics and self-talk, parenting paradigms, and the question of what reparenting is and looks like. We will then create a map to healthy relationships.
This workshop is typically a virtual half-day event offered twice per year, but for this round, we are breaking it into two smaller portions over two days, offered on July 26th & 27th. The last day to register is July 15th! Follow the link below for more information and to register.
How can you improve your relationship with yourself and, in turn, create healthier relationships with those you love? Join this workshop to find out!