Wonder Woman

I found out I was pregnant and what did I do first? Book a trip to Onsite Workshops!  I’d been doing my own work for years, and the thought of bringing another human into this world just amped up my need to “do more”. I believed if I increased my recovery that by osmosis maybe he would get as much recovery in his DNA as he had naturally coming his way. 

It was so much easier for me to put aside my own wants and needs because someone else was in need of my body. No more Mountain Dew, no more heavy fried foods, no pain reliever of any kind that could bring any semblance of harm.  Outside of Mountain Dew, the hardest was no cheese!  At the moment, no big deal. How did I all of the sudden have the self discipline of Wonder Woman (also Codependent FYI!) Again, it was all because my body was needed by another human, therefore all the sacrifices were totally necessary and worth it. 

Today, (2 baby boys later) I find myself missing that level of self-discipline because it doesn’t come that easy. I'm the only one using my body. I’m the only one in pain when I go from sitting to standing due to joint pain. I’m the only one missing my body’s signals for food until I get a headache or nausea. I’m the only one with fatigue because I struggle to get the recommended water intake. How is it so easy to sacrifice me when it’s just me?

It’s in my DNA. I witnessed everyone else’s needs being more important than my mother’s throughout my childhood. I learned to hide my needs because it would cause conflict or danger. I perfected NOT having needs so other’s needs could always take priority. That was safer. In the ability to protect myself and survive I lost the ability to have a relationship with my body. So of course it was easy for me to be Wonder Woman. 

My super power today is looking in the mirror and verbalizing; I love you arms, I love you legs, I love you hair, I love you stomach, I love you face, I see you Amber and I love you.