In honoring the season, I thought I would theme our October post with folklore’s “Thinning of the Veil”. What does that mean? “The veil is thin” is a common expression used to describe the belief that during the Halloween season, the boundary between the physical world and the spiritual realm becomes permeable. It’s a belief that one can see things more clearly. How does this relate to The Healing Collective with Numbing, Medicating, Addiction, or Trauma? Well, in my opinion…A LOT!
Life follows the seasons through an energetic relationship whether one is in a state of awareness or not. For example, in the Fall, we are in a state of shedding, releasing, or letting go. We see this in the trees as the leaves fall, in the animals that begin to slow down or be less visible due to hibernation or the cold weather. Fall begins the cycle of letting go and grief. In order for there to be rebirth, there must be death. Now granted there are many different forms of death we as humans encounter. Death of a cycle, a behavior, a relationship, a career, or even an expectation.
When I hear the thinning of the veil in relation to Fall, I first notice the release of the leaves and how visible land becomes due to the loss of lush trees into sticks. This visible shift and change reminds me of recovery and how one transitions in and out of states of health in order to “level up”. Relapses are a reality for most of us in recovery. Our story, or our leaves, may all look different. Some may relapse with substance, some a behavior, while others a relationship.
Just as the leaves start to change to yellow, orange, red, and brown to signify Fall, recovery also has noticeable changes. Adult Child of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families refers to this transition as “red flags” (BRB P. 70):
dropping out of meetings and isolating
- being argumentative or unreasonable
- gossiping
- losing focus and returning to one of the family roles of hero, lost child, scapegoat or mascot
- general noncommitment to recovery
- avoiding the Steps and intellectualizing
- binging on sex, drugs, food, or other compulsive behaviors
- acting with perfectionism and failing to talk about feelings and critical inner messages
I guess the analogy I’m making is when the red flags representing the red leaves start to show, the more I collect, the clearer my path becomes, reverting back to old patterns, behaviors, or relapse. It would be amazing if we could see this in the moment and walk out those Steps in order to limit the pain, discomfort, or loss. However, what I do know is recovery isn’t always about “doing right” or being perfect. Recovery (according to Amber) is about a level of self awareness that allows me to see when I need to return to what I know works. The thinner the veil gets, the more I have to fight to see my reality and return to pain. Recovery isn’t about learning to cope with pain, chaos, and dysfunction. Recovery IS about learning how to feel joy.
~Am
Recovery Tool:If you are unaware of the terminology or steps bulleted above, I encourage you to go to www.adultchildren.org and take a moment to review the “Laundry List”. If you find you relate to many of these traits, reach out and schedule an assessment. There’s no gold medal to doing life alone.
